


All This And Heaven Too

by bloodyblade



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Killing, Murder, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:13:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26706535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodyblade/pseuds/bloodyblade
Summary: The voice in your head is your soulmate’s voice. Joel didn’t meet his before the world went to shit. Should he hope to find them after the Outbreak Day?[Soulmate AU]
Relationships: Joel (The Last of Us)/Original Female Character(s), Joel (The Last of Us)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> English isn’t my first language, so there might be a few mistakes, sorry! It's been a while since I've written anything, so I'm sorry if this is not that good lol. Also, I think knive daddy needs some more loving and I crave for Soulmate AU'S.  
> This chapter is Joel centered.
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr as bloodyblade.  
> Enjoy and please let me know what you think!

The stillness after the last gunshot. The silence that follows. Killing. The blood pooling around their bodies, droplets splattered as if they were freckles across the face.

All of those things, which before would've seemed to have come out of an episode of The Punisher became something horrifically normal. The world went to shit. Life is no longer about honor or dignity. Either you survive, or you die. Kill or be killed.

Life changed completely with no turning back within a short span of time. The only thing that remained constant in Joel's life, was his inner voice. The voice of his soulmate echoing his thoughts.

But just like everything else, it didn't start off easy. While most everyone he knew was born listening to a different voice inside their heads, Joel could only listen to himself. At the beginning, it didn't really bother him, the concept of a soulmate was something he wasn't bothered about for he was too young to understand. Until he got older and he didn't hear a different voice, the voice.

Of course he got worried. Could he be one of the unlucky ones who wasn't destined for something great? Would the faith be ever so cruel to punish him for whatever mistakes he might've made in his past life?

No one knew this except for his brother, Tommy. Weirdly enough, he wasn't mocked or made fun of like he thought it would. Probably because his brother hadn't find his soulmate yet too.

But he chose to move on. Nobody needed to know. Life wasn't stopping for anyone and neither would he. Not listening to your soulmate's voice could mean that they either weren't born yet, or they were dead. Hopefully it wasn't the last.

For a while he couldn't care less, having met Sarah's mom. Yeah, he was in love. Kind of. He had no idea if he was her soulmate, if she didn't listen to their voice like him. He didn't dare ask her. He buried inside that nagging strip of conscience telling him to wait, just a little more. He wasn't alone. But then he would convince himself that yeah, he wasn't alone. He had a partner.

But it actually happened. He woke up with her beside him, and when he thought to himself "she's beautiful" he startled himself and cut himself off, his blood ran cold.

It happened. It finally happened. He had a soulmate. He felt a rush of happiness wafting it's way through his body, the ecstasy was too great for him to not take a deep breath and let a smile appear on his face.

Only for it to dissolve a second later.

Fuck, I have a soulmate. The fuck am I supposed to do now? He thought to himself, listening to that strange voice talking back to him. He looked to the woman beside him, analyzing her for a second. Decidedly he got up and left, being the middle of the night he went quietly back to his car, not wanting to run into anyone. He needed to think.

Back at home, Tommy was fast asleep on the living room couch, something random playing on tv. He was glad he didn't wake him up when he got home. Later, they would have a conversation about sleeping hours, because he would be the one listening to his little brother's whining the next day. He wanted none of that.

The next morning, Joel had made a decision. He nodded to talk to her. But so did she. And things could've gone very differently but as she told him the news he felt lightheaded.

Pregnant.

She was pregnant.

How long did she know? Why did she hide it from him? Holy fuck, it's mine and I'm gonna be a dad. Whatever he was going to do just went down the drain. He would not be like his parents.

"What did you want to talk about?" She asked him hesitantly, sitting beside him on her bed. He had his head in his hands, not even sparing a glance at her. She didn't think much of it, she did just tell him they were having a baby. But her gut had a tight feeling and she was extremely anxious to hear what he had to say.

"Nothing, I-" he whispered in a low tone, exhaling through his nose. Finally looking over, he asked "How far along are you?"

"Around ten weeks, I guess..." Ten weeks? That's almost three months "I just- I didn't know how to tell you" she mumbled looking at her hands. He nodded and brought one of his hands to hers.

"We're gonna be okay," he reassured her softly "I'm gonna be by your side every step of the way. I'm not going anywhere." He swore.

And he kept his promise.

Despite always listening to his soulmate's voice, and knowing it was not her... He just couldn't abandon her and their baby. He couldn't help but think of him and Tommy, how different their lives could have been if their parents were there, if one didn't have to raise the other. He was going to give her everything within his reach. He was going to be a father.

They got married and had a beautiful and healthy baby girl. Sarah. She was perfect.

Staring at her blonde hair and blue eyes, he couldn't believe love like this could ever exist. Although he still felt like there was a missing part, he almost felt whole.

She was so pure and innocent, she trusted him completely and wholeheartedly. This, this is real love. Her fussing and grabby hands tugged at his heart strings, her gurgling and toothless smiles, God. He was going soft. Softer than he has ever been.

To have her lay on his chest, having her in his arms when attempting to put her to sleep and then watch her peacefully snore in the cradle he made her himself. The soft green one piece that kept her warm all night.

He sometimes wondered about how it would be like to have his soulmate as Sarah's mom. His top priority would always be her, but his relationship with her mother was deteriorating every passing day. It also didn't help the voice he would listen to everyday was so beautiful and soothing to him, lulling his internal monologue for a long time, never tiring.

His wife was spending less and less time at home, only taking care of Sarah and then going to work. Tommy often took care of her when he could. But Joel was getting tired of it.

He noticed that with time, things began to cool down. They didn't have sex anymore and barely even kissed. They slept beside each other but acted more like acquaintances than lovers, then husband and wife. He had no idea what was going on. But it made him mad that she was not spending much time with their daughter.

She was growing so fast and beautiful every day, he was so proud of every little accomplishment she made. And his wife was never there for any of it. She was never there when they went out for ice cream after class, went only once or twice to her football games, and barely helped her with homework. He felt like they were roommates, sharing only a house but not a life.

Becoming aware of this, the arguments began. The screaming matches, sleeping on the couch and leaving early to work. The long times his wife would stay away from home increased so he didnt have to do much anymore to avoid her and he tried to conceal Sarah from what was happening as best as he could.

And he succeeded for a while, until she left them.

She left while Sarah was at school and Joel was working. She cleaned the house of everything that belonged to her, from her favorite mug to her toothbrush and nail polish. The closet now was devoid of her possessions, even flower pots that used to be on the windowsill were gone. All there was left was a letter to Joel and divorce papers. Her wedding band on top of all of it.

Joel was devastated. He knew things were bad, but he thought it was fixable. He loved her for so long, did she not feel the same? How could she not only leave him but Sarah? Did she not love her? Did she not want them? The questions were too many and in the end it resumed to: she found her soulmate. The date was coincidentally the time he felt she was starting to pull away.

That explained where she was when she would come home late, why she wouldn't want to have sex or even 'forgetting' to kiss him. Was she avoiding doing all of that because she was feeling guilty? Was she feeling guilty of cheating, not loving him and Sarah or of loving someone else?

How the fuck am I goin' to tell Sarah? What am I s'pose to tell her?  
After that, he signed the papers and moved with Sarah, living closer to his brother. His now ex-wife never contacted him again, not even tried to talk to Sarah.

Not much changed, it felt like he was raising Sarah as a single parent for a long time. If anything, Sarah grew too attached to Tommy, which annoyed him because his brother's sense of humor was rubbing on her and, well... he was not exactly funny.

Again, he had a new change of heart. He didn't know anymore what to make of soulmates. He knew his soulmate was out there, but he couldn't deny his broken heart.

He knew of tales of the kind of love soulmates share, everyone does. Sarah grew up with her soulmate's voice inside her head, and he told her himself all of the stories. Stories about a love so strong it could outshine the sun and shine brighter than any star, he would tell her.

But he loved Sarah's mom, not like a soulmate would but like a man would love another woman.

So he wouldn't look for his soulmate, no. If that's who he was destined to be with, then faith would put them on each other's way.

She was so young when her mother left, she didn't deserve that. He wanted her to never know the pain of loss. So he vowed to keep her safe, even if it meant not letting anyone close to him. He did have his needs of course, but one night stands were only to fulfill a need. Nothing more.

Years started to pass fast, her passion for football grew and so did her collection of trophies and medals on her bed stand. Joel's collection consisted of photographs of Sarah's games and winnings and just both of them together, some had Tommy as well.

Life was far from easy, but yeah, he could say he was happy. He had his brother and his daughter, unconditional love. That was enough for him.


	2. Chapter 1 - Building Coffins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know Joel's soulmate and a bit of her story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story won't follow everything that happened exactly. As you can tell, we are initiating from the very begging of TLOU 1, but some things are gonna be altered, such as some plots developed at the game and a lot of things are going to be different. Dialogues are gonna be similar, but I also wanna change that a tiny bit.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

He’s buried her. She who must not be named. Sarah’s mom. With hammers and nails never to be opened again.

He had bills to pay and somebody to protect. Convinced himself he doesn’t care about it and that it doesn’t hurt anymore. Move on as if nothing ever happened. All he ever told Sarah is that it was always the two of them. 

He had someone to care for now, especially since there’s something going ‘round. Keeping up with the news, he knew people were getting sick, a whole lotta people. Some kind of virus, or infection, whatever. He couldn’t care less but he didn’t want Sarah to catch it, so he took all the precautions needed. He wasn’t, by any means, paranoid. He just kept remembering that one simple check up at the doctor, that could take five minutes, would cost a few days (most likely weeks) of work to pay.

Still, Joel felt like something was off. Picking up the paper, reading about how the numbers of people getting sick were higher every day and doctors not really understanding why, besides knowing it was caused by a fungus, he had a bad feeling at the pit of his stomach. People weren’t getting better. Something to do with their brain. 

Days kept blending together. If it weren’t for the news, he wouldn’t have known things were too different. He did tune everyone out while working and when at home, his attention was solely on Sarah, making dinner, doing things together such as go to the movies to watch _Dawn of The Wolf._ He hated it, but his daughter loved it. Anything for her, even a headache that would leave him grumpy and ready to take a nap as soon as his body hit the sofa.

It wasn’t until the day of his birthday that everything went to shit. _Everything_.

He had let a lot of work pile up, so decidedly he left a note to Sarah, telling her he would get home late and that she could order anything she wanted for dinner. He has Tommy pick her up from school, maybe stay a little with her and he would get there as soon as he was done. And it was very late when he was done. He barely remembered the date, but she wouldn’t forget such things. A heart of gold, she had.

"Here. You kept complaining about your broken watch so, I figured, you know. Do you like it?" Sarah prompted while giving her dad a box. Ah yes, the hardcore drugs she was selling were paying off then.

He really liked it, but wouldn't mention he noticed a couple dollars missing from his wallet every few days for a while now.

They watched tv and she eventually fell asleep and he carried her to her bedroom, putting her to bed and covering her while brushing her hair aside so she wouldn't be bothered in her sleep. Kissing her forehead, he went back to the living room.

Only, something wasn't quite right. Their neighbors lights were on. _Strange_. They were a elderly couple with a son who just started to work after graduating. Jimmy's car is badly parked, the doors open wide. He turned off the tv, made sure the house was silent and, upon not hearing anything coming from Sarah's room, he left through the sliding doors and went in the direction of Jimmy's car.

The keys were still in the ignition, but the car was off. The Cooper's house, although with the lights on, was rather silent. If anything could be heard were... heavy steps and, maybe, that could be furniture moving.

Reaching for his holster, he pulled out a 9mm pistol. He walked quietly to the porch of the house, the door was unlocked and slightly ajar. Entering, he noticed a few things out of place: a vase broken on the ground, bottles of whisky toppled over a shelf, alcohol spilling everywhere. The lights bounced on the yellow walls and wooden furniture, casting shadows wherever the eye could reach. Despite the silence, he could hear wood cracking upstairs. He wasn’t sure, but it sounded like someone was walking erratically and someone else very slowly. Just as he was going upstairs, a _boom_ sounded rather closely. Looking through the window, he couldn’t make what he was seeing but it was bright and orange. Turning around he stopped dead on his tracks, a shrill cry broke from one of the rooms upstairs, followed by a thumping sound of steps.

There stood, Jimmy, quickly approaching him. _What the fuck, is that really him? The fuck happened?_ He gave a few steps backwards, loudly demanding him to stop. He was covered in blood and didn’t look like himself, he looked… sick. But he didn’t stop and advanced on him, throwing himself at Joel, who stumbled, groaned with the impact and shot twice. Jimmy swayed backwards and fell away, and Joel didn’t stop to see where he hit him, he just ran home as fast as could and away from him.

As soon as he passed through the doors of his study, he sealed them shut and rested against it, trying to regain his breath. Trembly and feeling nervous, he goes to his desk when he spots his daughter. 

“Dad?” God, she sounded so scared while she stared at him. He stops and looks down on himself, noticing the blood splattered on his clothes. “W-what’s going on?”

“It’s alright baby girl, I’m fine.” Joel walked closer to her, bending to her height “It’s Jimmy, he’s sick.” Just as he says that, the man breaks through the door, glass going everywhere, including himself, charging at the pair. Sarah jumps back in fear and Joel puts himself between them, shooting him straight in between the eyes, the bullet lodging there only for blood to trickle down and Jimmy’s body lay dead on the ground.

Things are getting out of hand, he can barely tell the time anymore, as if it just started to pass by him and he wasn’t even aware of it. Lights flood the house and Tommy is suddenly up in their backyard. He jumped out of the car and ran in their direction.

“What the fuck, Joel? Can’t you pick your goddamn phone?” he continued to strut until making an abrupt stop when he noticed the body laying on the ground.

“Not now.” Joel grumbled, taking Sarah by the hand and walking to his brother’s car. He opened the back door and helped her get in. “Put your seatbelt on.” He got in the passenger seat while Tommy also got in, before pulling out of the porch.

“Who was that?” Tommy asked, looking quickly at this brother before looking back at the street. 

“Neighbor.” He replied in a low tone, not wanting Sarah to hear. But she was way too intelligent to not have noticed who that was. “He was… sick. Tried attackin’ me. Bust down our door…” he trailed off, houses passing by and cars accumulating ahead.

“Are we sick too?” Sarah mumbled, her hands holding tightly the seats cushion. 

“No sweetheart, we’re not.” He turned around, grabbing her hand and caressing her knuckles. “If we were I would know, ‘kay?” She nodded slowly, exhaling heavily through her nose.

_His voice echoed. Things started to get blurry and dark, Sarah’s face started to fade and everything else around him felt like it wasn’t real until everything got dark, at last._

“You mumble in your sleep.” the girl said, staring out the window. It was already night time and pouring. “I hate bad dreams.”

Sitting up on the sofa, he responded “Yeah, me too.” Rubbing his eyes, he hoped to shoo away the tiredness from his body and the awful memories of the worst night of his life. He doesn’t want to think about it. A life that could’ve been. A life he lost, never to have back again, besides the nightmarish memories that haunt him.

“So…” the little girl started shyly and hesitant, staring at the darkness “Is Tess your… y’know, girlfriend?” she moved her eyes quickly to Joel, only to turn them back to the window in front of her when she heard him scoff.

No, no she wasn't. It’s true that sometimes they would seek comfort on each other’s bodies, but it’s never been more than that. There’s never been this kind of love between them. When they met, she actually had her soulmate, Erik, by her side, and he was weary of Joel, didn’t really like him. Only when Joel started doing odd jobs here and there to survive in Boston did the guy actually start to see him in a different light, and the three of them started working together. Honestly, it went rather smoothly after they got used to one another.

Joel didn’t talk too much, never really talked about his life either. Always brooding. After a few years, he softened up to them, told them random things about himself: texan, plays guitar, fucking misses coffee. There’s not much they could say they knew about the guy, and he liked it that way. What was there to tell them, anyway? His life consisted of losses and failures and falls. He lost his daughter, his brother left him and he never found his soulmate. _What a life, huh?_ He would think bitterly to himself.

They never told Joel directly, but what he could pick up from rumors and whatever was said between Tess and Erik, he knew they were together before the Outbreak, but not long enough. Still, they were stuck to each other like glue.

Tess did try to pry from Joel anything about his soulmate, but he wouldn’t budge. She would ask _“You never wanted to go after them? Look for them?”_ of fucking course he did, but he never really liked the concept of having to subscribo to the _FindUrSoulm8_ bullshit website in the first place, simply because he found ridiculous that people would have to browse throught various audio files and submit their own to find someone. That’s just weird. He likes things the old-fashioned way. _“Are they… alive?”_ That was the only question he actually bothered to answer, only to reply with a dry _“Yep”_ of his own.

That string of questions would often lead to questionings of his own. _Should I go looking after them? Where would I even go?_ He would often snort a laughter, knowing they would probably point a gun to one another before they could mutter a word. He knows he would, at least.

“Well, I’m just thankful I’m not yours.” Joel would tell her humously, earning an expletive and a hard shove in return.

But that dynamic changed when Erik died. 

They had a job Erik was sure someone could do on their own. Joel thought that meant him, of course, but didn’t complain. It kind of shocked him when Erik suggested that he should be the one to do it and they should stay behind to collect a shipment that was going to arrive soon. That soon became an argument between the couple while Joel stood to the side, not really paying attention and just waiting for them to come to a consensus. 

To put it simply, things went to shit. He didn’t return after a few days went by, which worried both of them. Going after him, the sight that greeted them wasn’t pleasant. Erik got shot several times and was left in a alley.

Obviously, Tess changed a lot after that. Everyone heard of it, and pitied her which made her angrier because she already felt angry with herself, constantly putting the blame on her for she agreed with Erik, didn’t stop it, or simply didn’t go with him. She became hardened and he couldn’t blame her. He understood, he’s been the same ever since… the event. He did hear her cry silently sometimes, but never spoke about any of it.

Also, it was none of her business. She, like Tess put it, was just cargo.

“What on earth do the Fireflies want with you?” He changed the subject, looking at Ellie.

But before she could respond, Tess enters the room, a little winded, apologizing for taking too long and closing the door after her. After calming Ellie down, telling her that Marlene was fine, she finally turns to Joel. “I saw the merchandise. It's _a lot_. Wanna do this?”

He takes a second and nods “Yeah”, Tess already making her way to the door. 

“Let’s go.”

* * *

If it weren’t for the decaying buildings, she would've thought the view was pretty. It was, in some kind of way, if she ignores the lifeless bodies that swarm the streets, abandoned cars and the bunch of weapons she was carrying with her. Or the little cut she managed to get on her nose on a close call with a hunter. Fucker. 

Well, at least nature was taking back what rightfully belonged to it.

The sun was setting, which meant she better stay where she is. She checked time and time again that the place was secured, barricading the doors and making sure the curtains were drawn. The apartment was small. _Thank God!_ She settled her things next to the sofa and went about making something to eat. She managed to find some… goodies when looting a few stores in the city.

She pulled out her journal, the journal that used to be her brother’s but now it belonged to her, and went through the pages. They were filled with little notes, music lyrics and some quotes but what occupied most of it were the drawings. _He was so talented._ Her favorite had a dog ear, so she could find it easily. She laughed through her nose, _if he was here right now, he would most definitely chew me out._ It was a drawing of a beautiful, big moth. She always loved them. He knew that. 

She sighed and put everything down, straightening her legs on the sofa. She wished all of this could be a fever dream. Hopefully she was in a coma and her mind was playing tricks, some oddly realistic ones, just to keep her entertained.

Trying not to dive too deep in her memories was hard, especially now that she was alone. 

She was going to college. Community college, but still. She was starting a nursing bachelor program, her parents were so proud and her older brother too, but not too amused as she should be studying near him and kept begging to let her move in with him. He eventually agreed.

Since they were young, they were very close to each other. Although yes, they fought from time to time, their bond was something parents prayed for their children to have. And they loved to play-fight, which led her to earning several bruises as a child, always visiting the school’s infirmary. She knew everybody there, as she was a frequent visitor and she likes them all. Except Victor, the intern who was only there because of the girl’s football team, she was sure. At least that’s what she heard some of the workers there say. They would care for her foundly and carefully, and at some point, at one of her many visits after biting her brother and being shoved hard to the ground, she decided she wanted to be just like them.

As the years went by, and when she was old enough, she started helping at the nursing ward of the school during free periods and picking extra classes. She wanted to be the best she could, even if she couldn’t afford it.

By the time she was in high school, she already knew how to do stitches properly, although the first few times led to ugly healed scars that wouldn’t fade away. She practiced mostly on herself or her brother, of course.

She did some odd jobs acting as an assistant nurse, learning how to do immobilizations and dressings and applying injections. Mostly on residential care facilities for the elderly.

She likes to think she would’ve made a great nurse, since the knowledge and experience she has helped her survive that long on that wasteland. Her parents were supportive and she was hardworking as well. Whenever she would find books or medicine related magazines, she would take with her to improve what she thought necessary or learn new techniques. 

And it did help that she didn’t have a significant other in high school. Obviously, soulmates were a big deal in school, hormones getting everyone worked up and horny, and all that jazz. All her friends cared about was that topic, and that topic only it seemed. Movies were made about soulmates, books. Magazines would always be talking about it, characters in comics would have soulmate’s for fucks sake! Some found them young, others in high school. Her hope was that she would meet hers in college, they did sound older than she was. But sometimes it would bother her, to see people making out in the corridors and sometimes in the restroom while she avoided to stare for too long. 

At least they were alive, but if chances of her finding hers back then was thin, what are the chances of running into them in the fucking apocalypse? Yeah. It’s been twenty years, anyway. Hopefully they were alright. Better than her.

Because she was on her own now. Her brother was dead. That happened just a few days ago. She couldn’t help but feel like it was her fault.

They were on the run from FEDRA, and eventually, from hunters. They were recruited very early on and, even though she was hesitant, her brother convinced her those were their better chance of surviving this whole thing. And so she agreed and both of them were trained under the rays of a thousand burning suns and the harshest of winters for months, years, she couldn’t tell but it was something like it. 

She never touched a gun before, now she didn’t feel safe without carrying at least one weapon on her, with reason. Of course, she had body combat training, but she had to feel it on her, at all times.

She hoped she wouldn’t even be considered to be out on the field with her skillset, but the military had other ideas. 

They wanted her to accompany some teams on the field. That also meant killing if necessary, being able to handle yourself if you ever got separated and were surrounded by infected or anyone who wasn’t FEDRA. She had no other option, as much as she wanted to stay in the base and work alongside the doctors. It bothered her at first, but she got used to it. She hated killing, from afar and up close, using a gun or a knife, but she understood it was either live or die.

But that changed for her one day. 

She got used to the weight and kick of the gun, of being stealthy enough to kill her enemies, even if that meant getting blood splattered on her face and clothes, but she wasn’t ready when it came to killing people from different factions. Or tourists. Or kids.

They found two fireflies who got separated from the group. One was an older woman and what looked like a teenage girl. The woman was shot dead for she was bitten and the girl was taken to their headquarters. She was told to treat her wounds and make sure she was okay, which was weird and signed to her something was off. She tried talking to the girl but she wouldn’t utter a word, all she got out of her was her name, but only because she caught a glimpse of her locket. Hailey.

The older soldier from her team tried to get something out of her in vicious ways, and she was always the one to take care of her after everything was said and done, and everytime she would come back to Hailey, she knew it was just a matter of time before she couldn't take it anymore. And she did eventually talk.

They were meeting with the other Fireflies they got separated from somewhere outside the Chicago QZ walls, somewhere west. That’s all she said. _What for?_ Silence. _Until then before they assume you’re dead and move on?_ No answer. Besides that, she would spit blood on their faces or keep a sneer on her lips. She knew she wasn’t getting out alive, might as well go out never backing down.

But before that, they sent her to Hailey again, as a last resource, hoping she would talk. A fake bribery, posing as if there was a chance of surviving if she bent to their will. She looked awful, her eyes were swollen and could barely open. Her lips were scabbing at the corners and blood stained her clothes. Stab wounds also marked her body, but there was so much she could do. They always sent her to play good cop in those cases, but she didn’t say a word besides _“May I?”_ Before taking the girl’s locket and pocketing it. The girl didn’t question and she didn’t provide an explanation either. She didn’t have to.

Her death meant her ticket out. It wasn’t fair, she knew it, but she would try to honour her, as long as she wasn’t killed.

The team would depart in three days. Her services as a nurse weren’t needed anymore, so she retired to her room, an office with bunk beds separated from the medical staff. She was alone, save from the other two people sleeping soundly on the other end of the room. Jack and Dana. She felt bad leaving them behind, a part of her small group of friends she made in that hell whole. Reaching for her bag under the bed, she packed the little belongings she had, including some medical supplies in overmeasure. Abandoning her coat under her pillow she put the necklace around her neck. Before leaving, she scribbled a quick note for her brother, begging for his forgiveness and for him not to go after her. 

Taking a last look of what was supposed to be her home for years, she left. She left that same day, before anyone was ready to leave or ready to notice her departure too soon.

And now there she was, hiding from the FEDRA soldiers looking for her while she searches for the Fireflies. Her brother, stubborn as ever, went after her the moment the whole base was informed of a soldier scaping. He tracked her to a subway station filled with infected and spores, shooting her way through. He wanted to scream at her and hit her as hard as he could, just like when they were children, but he did nothing of the sort. He bottled it all up until he had an opportunity to do it somewhere safe. Lucas knew they had a head start on whoever was going after them, but they were quick and they would get killed if they didn’t find shelter soon. 

And they were lucky for a day or two, avoiding the soldiers was quite easy when you know how they work and you know how to hide and kill someone silently. And, even though at first she didn’t want to kill anybody, the siblings knew they were the ones who were gonna be killed if that didn’t happen. So they would take shelter in tall buildings that looked like they could collapse at any given moment, and moving as silently as they could to not attract unwanted attention and pass by as invisible as someone could with a bunch of guns strapped to their bodies.

It’s not like she wanted to join the Fireflies either, but right now, they were her best bet. Also, Hailey didn’t deserve what happened to her and her friends deserved closure. 

But before that could happen, they were caught. They were raiding a drug store, when she tripped on a shelf and everything fell with a loud _bang_. Lucas looked at her and she stared right back, both as silent as they could be, holding their breaths and crouching behind the counters, their heartbeats erratic on their chests and breath shallow, while trembling hands tightened around their guns.

A shrill cry broke from afar. Then another. Then another. Fumbly footsteps were coming closer as they loaded their guns as fast as they could. Setting them on fire wasn’t the best option for they could die with them, but neither was shooting, they could attract even more infected. So all they could pray for was that their knives and bullets would be enough to help them get out of there and hide before they heard something else to go after.

That was the moment their luck ran out. Runners and clickers invaded the store, screaming and sending everything on their way to the ground, being shot and getting up, only to get shot again. Guns kept being reloaded until they found an opportunity to get the hell out of there, only for Lucas to be pulled back and bitten in the shoulder. Hard.

His eyes looked desperate and full of anguish and pain. She stood a few feet away watching the whole scene unfold. A broken cry strangled out of her brother’s throat _“Run!”_ Before sounds of guns coming from somewhere too dangerously close.

She was divided but eventually ran as fast as she could, as fast as her body allowed without collapsing. And she fucking left him. She fucking left him there to be devoured by those things and maybe, at some point, become one of them. She felt sick to her stomach. She never imagined that could happen, she didn’t wish for this, she never meant for him to follow her and _get fucking killed!_ As much as she was seething with anger, her eyes were misty and damp, and something that felt like a hand had a tight grip around her throat and heart. Everything was hurting as she made her way to a building, climbing a bus to reach the stairs beside the windows.

And that’s where she was for now, making residency in that same apartment for the past two days, caring for her wounds and going out when she deemed safe to gather more supplies or check if anyone looking for her had lingered. 

She took the pendant from inside her shirt and took a last look at it before slipping in a fitful slumber. _Hailey Reed._ She was going to find those Fireflies.

Whatever it takes.


End file.
